Approaching 33 (YIKES…I will actually be 33 when this post goes live!!!), i’ve been thinking about the words of wisdom I would pass down to my younger self; words of encouragement, that give nothing away of the journey I will embark on, but more assurance upon reflection.
I’ll keep this simple, as the 23year old me wouldn’t want a drawn out intro or outro, preferring to get straight to the point…so hear goes!
It’s your future-self here, exactly 10 years older than you, as I write this quick note, of what I hope you will find useful. Let me be upfront and start by complimenting you on how smart and intuitive you are and I hope you live in the daily knowledge of this…so I will say…use what you want and discard the rest. Life is for living; do what you want!
So…being 10 years older, the first thing I would advise, your somewhat, risk-averse, cautious-self, is to dream, dream big and dream bigger. You are, by nature, a very practical and logical thinker. Always have been. More often than not, you will take the pragmatic approach, planning for what you want, staying on track for achievement. However, I feel you would have achieved even more, in a shorter space of time, if you just allowed yourself to dream further than your cautious view of the way the world ‘should’ be. You have never been a big dreamer/day-dreamer…always a ‘practical’ dreamer i.e. you dream within the confinements of what you believe to be ‘practically achievable’. You think ‘dreams’ are for those who aren’t particularly stable and grounded, those that don’t get things done, those that aren’t in touch with reality. Let me tell you – that is utter rubbish! Snap out of this thinking from now. Dreams, quite simply, are conceptual plans! Dreams help you to envisage what you want and where you want to be. Dreams give you an ideal in which you can achieve, no matter how you started in life; you can be and have whatever you want. So, my dear-23-year-old-self…I urge you to dream, dream big and then dream bigger. I urge you to write your dreams down, as they will form your plans and I urge you to stop dreaming of conventional things, expecting the extraordinary.
This too shall pass. I sharn’t sugar-coat it for you…you’re going to go through stuff that your mind could never have conceived. This my-dear-younger-self is called: LIFE! It will change you as a person, but know this; it will pass and although you cannot imagine how, you will be better and stronger for it! All the angst/dread/doubt/fear/uncertainty/challenges you will have and face…will pass! I know you’re fond of the saying “Every season has its reason!” – hold onto that! Known that it is true. Things happen and you won’t understand why. Why you were in that place at a particular time, you won’t understand why that job turned out to be, simply put: crap! You will have no idea why you met certain people and had emotional connections that won’t last, why your friends think you’re bougie…and I could go on and on…there are a load of things you won’t understand…and that’s fine, that is the journey of life. Things will pass and you will be wiser and stronger…and if, as a result, you’re not wiser…don’t worry, it can be a silly anecdote you tell the grandkids.
One of the things you will grow to love about yourself, is your tenacity! It’s a gift and you use it well. You don’t take things ‘lying down’ or accept everything and anything as ‘gospel’. You’re not afraid to push the boundaries to find a solution to what you want, nor are you afraid to ask questions, in several different ways, to ensure the answers come back the same to satisfy your curiosity.
I should point out that you’re relationship with God will be a constant battle of Tug-of-War…and yep, you guessed…He will win, every time!!! You’re stubborn, He knows it. You like your own way, He’ll give your space to make your mistakes. However, you’re an extremely intuitive woman…so it will vex you time and time again, when you go against His will, only to have to ‘come back’ with your tail between your legs admitting that you wasted time, just to explore (which is fine…I’m just saying).
And finally (because like you, I can talk the hinds legs of a donkey), I can say your greatest gift is the fact that you are your own person. You’re a liked individual. You have a certain charm; a walk-into-a-room, smile-and-open-your-mouth-and-people-want-to-talk-to-you, charm. You’re comfortable in your own skin. If you don’t want to do something, you will very rarely do it, just to be a people-pleaser. You don’t care much for fake friendships, so you keep your circle of friends very small and understand that different friends will serve different needs. You know how to stay true to yourself, despite what people may expect. Side note: the older you get, you will struggle to be around people who are not as comfortable in their skin and their beliefs. You will have to work on how you handle this, rather than just ‘dropping’ people as friends!
So Kel, that’s all I really wanted to say. You’re doing well and growing into a woman I think you’d be proud of, even if you have to give her the ‘side-eye’ occasionally. Happy birthday fabulous!!!
What did you think of my note to my younger self? What words of wisdom would give to your younger self, looking back over the years?
Content created: Tuesday 27 June Weather: 19c cloudy What was I listening to that day: Tell Me What You Want Me To Do by Tervin Campbell